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Z-Squad Part III — Getting Tough with Monkey Puff

Monkey Puff

What’s in a name? Quite a lot, as it turns out. If you have been following the Z-Squad story (and if you haven’t, then the time to pick up the trail is right now), then you will recall that RICKS MIX was the result of some serious unauthorised tinkering with our Zombification machinery, whereby many human souls were gathered into a single being. The sabotage produced a pleasing effect and so we decided to replicate it - on a slightly smaller scale - with the third zombie to emerge from our cloudy lab. We proudly present, for your delight, MONKEY PUFF

Paul Codes (which is an anagram of Ape Clouds - coincidence?) was a computer technician at a zoo, a ‘comzooter’ technician as he liked to (repeatedly) joke to his bored, critical colleagues. Specifically, he maintained, monitored and managed the complex computer systems that controlled the environmental conditions in the monkey enclosure, a job which he loved a great deal. He felt he was made for the job because of his surname - computer codes, the codes which unlocked the enclosure doors, it seemed like his life was full of them.

Regrettably, Paul was an extremely heavy smoker and, to put it bluntly, stank so badly that his colleagues wouldn’t have had anything to do with him anyway despite the bad jokes. Lonely, friendless and despised even by the monkeys, Paul looked up into the sky and let forth a scream that was heard a mile away. At this moment, we engaged our zombification machine and focused the sights on both him and his favourite monkey, FrootLoopz.

Instead of the confusion created by the many souls that were sneakily used to form RICKS MIX, the simple combination of man and monkey that resulted in MONKEY PUFF is the epitome of harmony. All of the negative qualities of both Paul and FrootLoopz were atomised in its creation, leaving behind only the pure, positive aspects of both personalities - once again, we have the exclusive rights to bottle the essence and you can get your hands on it right now.

Vital Statistics

Height - 2m (6’3”)

Weight - 200kg (16 stone) - varies with amount of fruit eaten

Nicotine - 0, 3, or 6mg

Eyes - pure white

Fangs - long, sharp, deadly

Flavour - mellowly mixed, fully fruity, beautifully blended

Clouds - circling, rolling and persistent

MONKEY PUFF wants you to experience the Ape Vape. We suggest that you comply with his wishes.